#devious 2012-12-14,Fri

trafficone

trafficone pokes travis

brycec

a lib for which I submitted a broken pull-req

qbit

:D
aw - my node pull req hasn't gone in yet

kyl

and it won't
ever

qbit

brycec

And I [apparently] can't run the unit tests on my own machine, it bitches... so I'm waiting for Travis

qbit

:'(

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kyl

brycec: well hurryy up, would you?
I forget, does travis do Go?

brycec

https://travis-ci.org/brycied00d/twilio-php says it passed
kyl Yes
goddamnit Travis you useless piece of shit, you only tested master, not the branch I'd pushed to

[15:04]

kyl

not that I really use a lot of travis since i can just 'go test' on the CLI

[15:04]

brycec

oh now it's started the branch

[15:04]

kyl

failed

[15:05]

brycec

yes, as expected
I was pissed off when it said "Passed"

[15:05]

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[15:08]

trafficone

tr/i/a/

[15:09]

BryceBot

I was passed off when at saad "Passed"

[15:09]

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[15:10]

jrick

HAHAA I passed my systems and signals class
I didn't learn a single thing from that class

trafficone

jrick: good job

jrick

with a B no less

trafficone

that seems like a pretty bad teacher
the signal is disconnected from the system
if you can pass with a B and learn nothing
clearly, had you learned something, you would have gotten an F, or expelled, or something

jrick

yeah probably but I don't care because I don't need this class for anything

trafficone

s/need/sex with a goat in/

BryceBot

yeah probably but I don't care because I don't sex with a goat in this class for anything

jrick

it's a req for my major (computer engineering) but it's a EE class

brycec

Holy crap, Travis-CI can time travel! https://dl.dropbox.com/u/3167967/screenshot_2012-12-14_16-20-07.png "2 minutes from now"

[15:20]

trafficone

good job, Travis-CI
jrick: but EE is sodamn sexy
it's where robots come from

[15:20]

brycec

oh btw congrats jrick
^

[15:21]

jrick

thx

[15:21]

trafficone

Bono is telling me he is the walrus... I've got a strong feeling I should listen to him

[15:21]

brycec

NO TRAFFICONE DO NOT!

trafficone

jrick: yes, congrats

brycec

trafficone is the walrus. Without question.

trafficone

I am the walrus

kyl

jrick: how much longer?

trafficone

trafficone walruscone

jrick

till the grand day of graduation? 4 months

kyl

until classes are over?
i thought this was your last semester

jrick

brycec

trafficone++

jrick

classes are over right now
but I have one more semester
and 2 finals for this semester

kyl

ohdamn

brycec

Man, Travis is cool... I should use it more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS0P7w4YCDI&feature=share

qbit

BryceBot

YouTube Comedy: "Walk Like an Eqyptian" by thecleverlys (3m 9s), 325,018 views, 1,143 likes and 16 dislikes. Uploaded 2009-07-16T03:22:09.000Z.

kyl

i dunno what it's useful for

qbit

yeah - i should too - no idea how to test irc on it tho

kyl

at least not in this case
qbit: spoof a connection

brycec

kyl

when i was testing irc shit
i just wrote a quick python server

brycec

PHP's got something called Mockery, that Twilio is using to mock HTTP request/response

kusuriya

lol i think planetside 2 overheated my processor

trafficone

planetside 2 overheated my everything
I was all happy with my 5 year old computer
now I need a new one
s/computer/motherboard/

[15:25]

BryceBot

I was all happy with my 5 year old motherboard

[15:26]

kyl

I need to set up a media server

[15:28]

qbit

omg kyl you should set up an openbsd media server
IT"STHEBEST

[15:28]

kyl

qbit: i'd probably use a sheeva
mmm guess i could use a beagleboard

[15:28]

qbit

use that for the frontend
you aren't gonna be doing any transcoding on a sheeva or bb

[15:29]

kyl

i won't be doing *any* transcoding
transcoding is for nubs
by media server
i really mean NAS
something I can attach my media drive to
and still watch/listen to stuff on my laptop

[15:29]

qbit

mmm

[15:30]

trafficone

s/(?<=really mean ).(.)(.)/211/

[15:31]

BryceBot

i really mean SAA

[15:31]

trafficone

OH I FAILED
trafficone commits ballpoint-pen seppuku

[15:32]

qbit

that was pretty good man
nice boobieform

[15:32]

trafficone

regex is the origin of T&A on the Internet
anyone who says otherwise isn't aroused by pattern matching
s/(?<=really mean ).(.)(.)/122/

[15:32]

brycec

ha
(if trafficone was wondering, BryceBot says the pattern didn't match to anything
(bear in mind it only goes back 15 lines or so...)
s/(?<=really mean ).(.)(.)/122/

[15:34]

BryceBot

i really mean ASS

[15:37]

brycec

I upped it to 30 :D

[15:37]

trafficone

woot!

benDos

s/(transcoding)/1 with nodejs/

BryceBot

BAREMETAL!!!

trafficone

@log_search transcoding

benDos

s/(transcoding)/$1 with nodejs/

BryceBot

38 results found. Here's one at random: Oct 10, 2012 15:20:05 <benDos > Yeah vlc does a bunch of transcoding as well, but I believe you can pull out specific audio video tracks and save them
BAREMETAL!!!
@log_search transcoding with nodejs

qbit

benDos

too far back to match "transcoding is for nubs" at 18:29est
?

brycec

yes

trafficone

s/s(?= )//

BryceBot

too far back to match "transcoding i for nubs" at 18:29est

trafficone

this is going to bother me...

brycec

benDos: it went as far back as 16:30:29 <+qbit> mmm

benDos

brycec, can you just expose some php debugger so we can play with the regex stuff?

brycec

no?

benDos

Fine.

brycec

that sounds like a terribly insecure idea

trafficone

benDos: don't you already have a regexbot?
s/terr/rel/ | s/in/un-/

BryceBot

that sounds like a relibly un-secure idea

benDos

s/ibly[ -~]+[^(idea)]/ibly fun idea

BryceBot

that sounds like a terribly fun ideaidea

benDos

doh :p

trafficone

holy shit, my mp3 player just totally freaked out

brycec

@log_search don't%penis

BryceBot

6 results found. Here's one at random: Jan 05, 2012 16:12:24 <dxtr > I don't wanna stick my penis in something that smells like that :(

brycec

meh, close enough

trafficone

@log_search tran%stick

[15:46]

BryceBot

4 results found. Here's one at random: Feb 12, 2012 13:26:54 <eest > vimja: i pic of my alix firewall featuring a transparent obsd sticker

[15:46]

qbit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=U_9J2oJjjd4
oh my god

[15:47]

BryceBot

YouTube Comedy: "Forever Alone Meets Michelle Jenneke" by Alecofthechive (2m 5s), 1,061,580 views, 11,306 likes and 447 dislikes. Uploaded 2012-12-13T20:10:32.000Z.

[15:47]

qbit

omg
]i love that video

[15:47]

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[15:48]

benDos

trafficone, I do have a regex bot
brycec, was playing with adding regex to BryceBot so no need for benDossBot in here
Duplicates some functionality from other bots in here, and some plugins specific for the main channel i made it for

[15:48]

trafficone

getting the last 30 lines, supporting tr/, and even m/
m/./ ???

BryceBot

g,e,t,t,i,n,g, ,t,h,e, ,l,a,s,t, ,3,0, ,l,i,n,e,s,,, ,s,u,p,p,o,r,t,i,n,g, ,t,r,/,,, ,a,n,d, ,e,v,e,n, ,m,/

trafficone

BryceBot: thanks

brycec

trafficone: m// is Perl match
m/a../

BryceBot

aff,atc

brycec

sweet, my MySQL query went from .55sec to 1:12

trafficone

m/(ar|ba|la|ad|re|no|ne|do) /

benDos

brycec, for BryceBot?

trafficone

m/no /

BryceBot

no
trafficone: I don't handle OR properly, sorry.

trafficone

oh, okay /me kicks a can

[15:53]

brycec

benDos: Working to fix an edge condition in its SQL

[15:53]

trafficone

select * from custeez c left outer join heirarchy1 p on c.parentid = p.id left outer join custeez c2 on c2.parentid = p.id and c.id<>c2.id where c2.name != 'YOURMOM' and c.name = $1

[15:56]

brycec

FAIL you forgot the trailing ;

[15:57]

trafficone

;
NOTFAIL

[15:57]

brycec

fine.

[15:58]

trafficone

^_^

[15:58]

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[15:59]

kusuriya

ENOTFAIL

[16:00]

cerry8

hi, I do not remember the password to my email where there was Qualla mysql database. how do I change it?
hi, I do not remember the password to my email where there was the mysql database. how do I change it?

[16:00]

benDos

ophcrack

Lefty

rainbow tables

kusuriya

luck

cerry8

:) Database that is on your server

jpgcr

I'm sure an admin would be happy to disable your potentially-compromised account for you.

kusuriya

or kick you for trying to compromise an account

[16:03]

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[16:03]

cerry8

I'm sorry, why should disable the account? I have never had a problem?

[16:04]

benDos

National Security

Guest43106

s/N/Intern

BryceBot

International Security

benDos

cerry8, maybe rephrase your question?

jpgcr

You've potentially let your password out into the wild. Your account credentials may be compromised.

Guest43106

Laters.. take care!

[16:06]

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[16:06]

trafficone

jpgcr: roll for initiative
@roll 1d10

BryceBot

trafficone, rolling 1d10... 6

kusuriya

@roll 1d12

BryceBot

kusuriya, rolling 1d12... 9

cerry8

time ago I signed up because I was trying php mysql, now I started studying php and mysql and I wanted to give it a try, but I do not remember the password to my old email

[16:09]

kusuriya

cerry8: your best bet is to email admins@devio.us

[16:09]

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[16:09]

jpgcr

cerry8 So even if you went through the standard lost-password process, you wouldn't be able to receive the email? You're screwed man.
Pro-tip: Don't lose access to your important email accounts.

[16:10]

kusuriya

no admin will reset a password ever via IRC requests
its just the breaks

[16:10]

trafficone

cerry8: not to be too commercial here, but to do that you can get a free AWS account, and use Elastic Beanstalk to set up a virtual server with PHP+Apache+Mysql installed

[16:10]

kyl

cerry8: how would I know it was you who owned the account?

[16:11]

jpgcr

trafficone: Not cool...

[16:11]

trafficone

not only will you learn PHP, you'll get exposure to a cloud environment which scales with your company

[16:11]

cerry8

I do not know, how can we do? you tell me

[16:12]

kyl

well, i'm pretty busy and don't have time to really think about it - come up with some ideas, and run them by me
trafficone: I heard AWS sucks

[16:13]

trafficone

well, first you need to set up your AWS account. Just browse to aws.amazon.com and set up the account

[16:13]

kyl

trafficone: and they only have bad devs

[16:13]

cerry8

I swear I will not do anything more with microsoft!

kyl

but microsoft is best operating system

trafficone

kyl: I am more of a Excel fan myself

cerry8

I do not know what they changed on their servers and I can not log in to my email more!

kyl

trafficone: i agree
trafficone: access for database work, of course
scales way better than the crap they call aws

trafficone

cerry8: actually, another thing you might want to look into is XAMPP, you can istall it on your local machine and write PHP against it

[16:17]

kyl

the cloud - what if it rains? would a thunderstorm disrupt your data? we don't have any evidence, so clearly aliens.

[16:17]

cerry8

I already have a virtual machine installed LAMP on my pc, but I have trouble accessing the outside!

[16:18]

trafficone

kyl: it's okay, the cloud is based out of seattle, so downtime is only expected during the summer months. That's why they suggest you put some servers in the Australia site for double cloud redundancy.

[16:18]

kyl

trafficone: interesting

[16:19]

trafficone

have you tried putting it by a window?
you might get better access to the cloud that way

[16:21]

BryceBot

TO THE CLOUD!!!

[16:21]

kyl

no, but i used a cantenna

[16:21]

trafficone

I have too many versions of "devil's haircut"
cerry8: if data size/speed/etc isn't an issue, you could use sqlite
IIRC, wolfman has sqlite running

[16:25]

kyl

trafficone: pfft
sqlite is so passé
i'm over it
redis and mongo are the new hotness

[16:26]

cerry8

hmm, I have to try!

trafficone

s/the.*ss/bringing wolfman to its knees/

BryceBot

redis and mongo are bringing wolfman to its knees

kyl

with their sheer powerrrrrrrrrrr

cerry8

so the database will be up to the maximum 10mb
if I enter every day something inside

[16:28]

kusuriya

oh i love people XD
"We need to ban all pistols they are more offensive weapons, were rifles are more defensive weapons" :/

[16:28]

kyl

yep

[16:29]

kusuriya

its like um no they are both equally offensive and defensive depends on the situation
:D

[16:29]

kyl

*technically* handguns are defensive and rifles are offensive
nbdjs

[16:29]

kusuriya

kyl: thats what i was trying to impress upon them

kyl

also fwiw i carried a hdangun for a year in a warzone and never fired it except at a range
and by fired, i include NDs in that list

brycec

Good news everyone! I fixed a "bug" in BryceBot's regex, so it really will search through the last 30 lines, not just the "somewhere between 15 and 30 lines" it was doing before.

trafficone

I thought that shitfucks were offonsive, pistols and rifles are just guns

kyl

trafficone: i'm talking about the intended usage of the tools
offensive might be hunting

trafficone

kyl: well, just look at them from a range standpoint

kyl

trafficone: i don't

cerry8

I hope to find a solution, good night! ;)

trafficone

like, you *probably* aren't defending if you're shooting at people a quarter-mile away
cerry8: good lucks

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[16:32]

trafficone

wtf was up with that guy?

[16:32]

kyl

man, submitting my code for review is always a tense moment
i *know* i'm a subpar dev who writes subpar code (i've only been coding for a few years with no formal background)
but still

[16:32]

trafficone

s/submitting/pushing/ | s/for review/to production without testing it/ | s/$/ until something breaks/

BryceBot

man, pushing my code to production without testing it is always a tense moment until something breaks

benDos

I totally win at burritos

brycec

^ and yet kyl's code is better than a lot of "profession, trained devs" I've encountered. (no ijoke)

kyl

no one uses my code in production
"no i joke" is correct

brycec

s/ij/j/

BryceBot

^ and yet kyl's code is better than a lot of "profession, trained devs" I've encountered. (no joke)

brycec

trafficone

brycec: yeah, the more I learn about programming/programmers, the more I'm frightened for every piece of softwere I ever use

brycec

I should replace boa with srvwd just to spite kyl

kyl

brycec: i still hold to the standard of, "it's not that i'm good, it's that everyone else sucks too" theory

benDos

colbyjack cheese from a regional cheese company, turkey, chorizo, lettuce, and a habanero and peach sauce

kyl

i'm probably going to try for a mango salsa this weekend

brycec

trafficone: The good news is that, based on my experience, a lot of those programmers end up working for big contractors like Honeywell doing annoying gruntwork like radar control systems. The bad news: see "good news."

trafficone

Sgmentation Fault.

kyl

it's why the .mil's computer systems suck -- you get what you pay for
s/Sgmentation Fault./SIGSEGV/

BryceBot

SIGSEGV

[16:36]

benDos

trafficone, how comfortable are you with C?
If you were scared of programmers before...

[16:36]

trafficone

benDos: don't make me think about that, I want to be able to sleep tonight without the use of drugs
It's not that bad, C has lots of benefitsxma9xak0/39x a3crxm 0/;9 m90]8m;.;

[16:36]

benDos

trafficone, are you on a linux system atm?

trafficone

benDos: yes and no?

kyl

I mean, I know a lot of the things not to do, but i'm not particularly good

benDos

trafficone, there's something cool with strace if you want to be really scared of programmers
Attaching to already running processes of the same user

trafficone

:-(

[16:38]

brycec

(I love that strace can do that, so handy)

[16:38]

benDos

It's pretty easy to in real time monitor all disk, network, keyboard, etc io and filter it into meaningful data
And man
My browser usually runs as me..
s/me/$USER/

[16:39]

BryceBot

My browser usually runs as $USER..

[16:39]

benDos

Happens to be one of things that as far as i know fedora is the only major linux distro fixes by default

[16:42]

kusuriya

my browser runs in a sandbox!

[16:43]

brycec

Mine does too! I just wish the cat didn't crap in it too...

[16:43]

trafficone

I run all clients as root, it's okay 'cause they're at least 5 years old

[16:43]

jrick

I sandbox everything in my $HOME

[16:46]

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[16:46]

kusuriya

i do everything live

[16:50]

benDos

s/live/in production/

[16:52]

BryceBot

i do everything in production

[16:52]

trafficone

ssh root@productionbox, vim production code

[16:52]

benDos

Note, port 22 ^

[16:53]

brycec

^ But not necessarily a public IP
And maybe there's a firewall too

[16:53]

benDos

productionbox doesn't have a public ip?

snk

wooo, had jury service on monday that just got cancelled!

kusuriya

hey guys i need you to hack my network ip 127.0.0.1
i need to make sure i secured that network!

brycec

benDos: maybe productionbox resolves to a local/private IP

benDos

kusuriya, lol gonna ddos you so hard

trafficone

snk: great, now you have to do a jury downtime report

benDos

brycec, i suppose

brycec

Almost all of my production machines have only their services externally visible, and things like ssh are only accessible over the VPN
Keeps that simple.

[16:55]

benDos

I keep some semiprivate ip's, no dns pointers to them generic rdns of my datacenter which i use for some stuff like that

[16:56]

kusuriya

hm well this is bad
my blood sugar is at 407

trafficone

O_O

brycec

-.-

benDos

obscurity as the first layer of my security has kept my ssh logs clean of literally any malicious logins for years

kusuriya

i actually really should go visit the hospital and get some insulin

benDos

I'm not doctor but that seems pretty high
Yeah man

brycec

Goody for you benDos. IP's I've never published frequently get port-scanned

trafficone

yeah, you probably should

kusuriya

benDos: normal is 75 - 120

benDos

brycec, i've got a few scans 'n stuff from previous users
Like some dudes in italy keep trying to hit a samba share on that ip
got a few scans but never even all of the tcp ports...
benDos shrugs
Been pretty lucky i guess
kusuriya, gf is an lpn says get some insulin now pls
border line ketoacidosis
@wiki ketoacidosis

BryceBot

Ketoacidosis :: Ketoacidosis is a metabolic state associated with high concentrations of ketone bodies, formed by the breakdown of fatty acids and the deamination of amino acids. The two common ketones produced in humans are acetoacetic acid and β-hydroxybutyrate. Ketoacidosis is a pathological metabolic state marked by extreme and uncontrolled ketosis. In ketoacidosis, the body fails... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketoacidosis

[17:01]

benDos

Cause i had to wiki it anyway

[17:01]

trafficone

oh hey, someone at 201.18.74.122 tried to log into my home server as root

kusuriya

benDos: i know its a bit late to do shit about it
unless i make a trip to the hospital

benDos

you don't keep insulin around?

brycec

Those damn brazillians

benDos

right
which like

kusuriya

nope im pill only

benDos

you probably should do
huh idk at least call your doctor mang

kusuriya

its not my high score

benDos

benDos shruygs
s/y//

BryceBot

shrugs

kusuriya

yeah im going to call my doc in the AM

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-nation-reports,30743/

benDos

well gl

[17:03]

kusuriya

get him to reup the insulin pens he took from me
since im kinda in this position since he took forever to get my glyburide up
i need to visit the pharmacy anyway tomrrow
my high score is 455
my dads beats me though 710

[17:03]

benDos

trafficone, most of my login attempts come from china
Usually on my mail server, from the same few blocks
But they try a couple user names, one password each then don't do it again for days

[17:06]

trafficone

I had a few login attempts from china

[17:07]

benDos

[17:10]

trafficone

peace, y'all, I'm out
*lewhoosh*

[17:11]

BryceBot

Au revoir trafficone!

[17:11]

benDos

later

[17:12]

...... (idle for 26mn)

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[17:59]

sharvey

so from my end
the internet died

[18:16]

trafficone

sharvey: the Internet is not dead

[18:21]

chi

http://ompldr.org/vZ3A3MQ

[18:22]

trafficone

chi: well put

[18:27]

snk

yikes
qbit: another night, another world class beer: http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/14/505

BryceBot

Beer Advocate: ""

snk

:D
.troll

lazylopez

You code in Ruby? aww, that's cute!

trafficone

snk: I'm surprised it's not called "India Big Male Ale"

[18:42]

snk

use to be called the big man ale
close enough :P

[18:43]

benDos

loled: export EDITOR=$(which rm)

[18:45]

snk

lal
that one's a silent killer
because it might not do anything for months
and then you'll run visudo and BAM
a less distructive prank that I've played on people is to add a random sleep to their $PS1
they freak out about how slow their computer is
s/dist/dest

[18:48]

BryceBot

a less destructive prank that I've played on people is to add a random sleep to their $PS1

[18:50]

benDos

haha

[18:51]

mcchunkie

New packages for i386!

[18:53]

.... (idle for 19mn)

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[19:12]

..... (idle for 23mn)

brycec

@ping

Omegle_Bot

brycec: Pong! Round-trip time: 0.9062 seconds.

jpgcr

brycec: Pong! Round-trip time: 1.6024 seconds.

BryceBot

brycec: Pong! Round-trip time: 2.2455 seconds.

brycec

I love how inaccurate those ping times are... They're all running on the same server
same path to me, etc
well they might not be on the same FN node

[19:39]

....... (idle for 32mn)

trafficone

I forgot everything from PHP

brycec

There's nothing wrong with that.
Fresh start in a better language, like Go

zenmower

haha
http://i.imgur.com/zanjK.jpg

brycec

Or a good reliable language, like Python

zenmower

yeah

trafficone

but I'm writing a twilio thing

zenmower

i have had to write entirely too much javascript lately

brycec

trafficone: ANOTHER?!

trafficone

brycec: it's pretty much the thing we wrote meets the thing I wrote

brycec

trafficone: if you care, I pushed a pull-req to twilio-php :)
ha

trafficone

I do, gj

brycec

well that's good solid description :P

[20:13]

trafficone

:P
it's basically a game where you get a bunch of people to put in their phone numbers
and then you dial them
and they all have to put in a number of who they think "the villan" is
except the villan
who puts in their own number

[20:13]

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trafficone

and the villan gets a message telling them they are that when they're called

brycec

Interesting... but a bit confusing
But I think I like the concept

zenmower

i just ordered 4 more magazines for my cz-75
just in case

brycec

Mostly... how the hell am I supposed to remember other peoples' numbers, trafficone ?

zenmower

they gonna take mai gunz

trafficone

brycec: an alias
1-0

brycec

trafficone: Unless there's a prompt "Press 1 if you think Bryce is the villain"?

trafficone

zenmower: bigger fish to fry

brycec

trafficone

no, it's got a wobsite

brycec

wobsite!
brycec thinks this totally calls for a cloudservice like AppEngine or Heroku to host

trafficone

well, it's on AWS, if that makes you feel better

brycec

not much

mcchunkie

aw, where's the pun in that?

brycec

BryceBot: twss?

BryceBot

That was 50% what she said. 'not much'