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[12:23] <erratic> harkened back to the days of
[12:23] <erratic> less drug use
[12:23] <erratic> and doing something productive
[12:23] <erratic> and yeah that just doesn't exist anymore
[12:23] <erratic> sorry
[12:23] <erratic> nobody wants a tranny
[12:24] <erratic> why does the world hate me so much
[12:24] <erratic> am I really that bad of a person
[12:25] <erratic> Im not a pedophile
[12:25] <erratic> I dont want to hurt kids I dont want to hurt anybody
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[12:26] <erratic> https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s2048x2048/29261413_203449653748623_566646571643437056_o.png?_nc_eui2=v1%3AAeHHUv5W97yIFkm-oX5CNOvVfNP13webEdES4aNQRyoK1p9GdwDoLV8W1BrnfjRAML4A_YXeeGv9AaKAB2iNENfT4d6et9gKIegbcQ06HdBF-g&oh=9ced53e64603082a7f4c623b215a248e&oe=5B31DFDA
[12:26] <erratic> cant imagine why
[12:26] <erratic> people would think
[12:27] <erratic> that all trannies are a bunch of fuckin degenerate pieces of shit
[12:27] <erratic> makes me sick
[12:28] <erratic> I almost left my house and went for a bike ride today but then I said nah fuck that
[12:29] <erratic> nobody wants to see my ass
[12:29] <erratic> in public
[12:29] <erratic> can't fucking blame them
[12:30] <erratic> Im stuck in this house
[12:30] <erratic> forever
[12:30] <erratic> I don't want to go anywhere
[12:31] <erratic> I even did my makeup I was almost gonna go
[12:31] <erratic> almost
[12:31] <erratic> but the humiliation of being who I am just fucking destroyed me
[12:31] <erratic> cant do it
[12:32] <erratic> I dont have the spoons to pretend that stereo types don't exist
[12:34] <erratic> maybe this is just a seattle problem
[12:34] <erratic> is LA any better up_the_irons
[12:34] <erratic> I don't really want to be around tweakers and shit Im not into drugs really
[12:34] <erratic> heroin addicts
[12:34] <erratic> disgusting problems that I don't want anything to do with
[12:35] <erratic> I don't like drugs and alcohol at all really
[12:35] <erratic> I do dissociatives right now because its the only way I can keep from smashing my fuckin head against the wall
[12:35] <erratic> I gotta figure something out dude I gotta get a fucking job
[12:36] <erratic> i do not want to keep living this way I'm about to lose my shit
[12:36] <erratic> Im sorry I dont have much of a filter right now I've just been abused incessantly by people its hard to
[12:42] <erratic> up_the_irons: I've been dialing into your BBS here for years dude, how the fuck am I not working for you or somebody like you who just gets it. somebody who doesn't pass judgement on me for being trans and fuckin just harp on me constantly because they don't know me and suspect that I'm a pedophile which you I can understand why people might fucking wonder given this stereotypical shit but no that is
[12:43] <erratic> not me
[12:43] <erratic> thats the whole FUCKING reason I quit my job at amazon
[12:44] <erratic> its weird when you think about it but the shit is real
[12:44] <erratic> I don't like being fucked with
[12:44] <erratic> Im not an sjw
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[12:44] <erratic> I just dont like being fucked with constantly by people
[12:44] <erratic> lol
[12:46] <erratic> this shit has driven me to the point of this autistic rant. I need to just get out of seattle I think I cant stand this place anymore
[12:46] <erratic> no idea where else I might be better off though
[12:52] <erratic> is that even possible to find anywhere, I dont mind doing basic shit that isn't particularly interesting I just dont want to be fucked with by people, and I don't wnat want to be alone anymore
[12:53] <erratic> I dont want to be with somebody who is crazy and unstable
[12:55] <erratic> why'd I give up on my job dude
[12:55] <erratic> stupid
[12:57] * erratic turns on kenwood and waits for it to heat up 
[12:58] <erratic> I need music so I can just chill the fuck out and not HATE myself so much right now x_x
[12:58] <erratic> any suggestions?
[13:00] <erratic> k glitch mob it is
[13:00] <erratic> literally just released a new track
[13:01] <erratic> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXTGGAStaDE
[13:01] <BryceBot> YouTube video: "Chapter II - The Glitch Mob - Take Me With You (feat. Arama)" by The Glitch Mob
[13:05] <erratic> apparently lot of people need jobs
[13:06] <erratic> and this stupid place where i live
[13:06] <erratic> too many people here
[13:06] <erratic> makes me fuckin crazy o.o
[13:06] <erratic> too many people I have nothing in common with
[13:07] <erratic> I need to find a job
[13:07] <erratic> I dont even care dude I'll live in a yakuza stall under a stair case
[13:08] <erratic> I just need to get out of this place
[13:09] <erratic> something to do
[13:09] <erratic> bored as fuck
[13:12] <erratic> something besides,
[13:12] <erratic> rmac
[13:12] <erratic> ddial
[13:12] <erratic> ...
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[17:27] <up_the_irons> erratic: mike-burns mercutio : lol
[17:28] <up_the_irons> erratic: LA is pretty shitty, sorry to say
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[18:37] <erratic> eh yeah I visited once it seemed like it would be ok
[18:38] <erratic> I think I've just been here in seattle for too long sometimes
[18:38] <erratic> but yeah I can imagine LA would wear on me too after awhile
[18:40] <erratic> I haven't been out much lately though it'd probably help if I actually left the house more, problem is I just don't want to I'm tired of the cold
[18:40] <erratic> its starting to get kinda nice again though
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[20:25] <up_the_irons> What are you all US-based people doing for St. Patty's Day tomorrow?
[20:30] <mike-burns> A tradition I've brought from my time in Boston: hiding.
[20:38] <up_the_irons> hahaha
[20:38] <up_the_irons> where do you reside now?
[21:16] <mike-burns> Brooklyn - I think my Caribbean neighborhood will be quieter and safer than downtown Boston was, but a tradition is a tradition!
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